B!tches B Trippin'

Sitting in the sun, reflecting and thinking about who I am, who I've been and who I want to be. Thinking of a friend whose going through rough waters with her now ex man. Thinking of my job and how much more I could be doing with my life. Thinking of my past, present and future. My kids. My marriage. So why do I feel a tad bit angry? The answer that comes to me is that we women put up with a lot of shit. Shit we go through with men. The shit we deal with on a daily basis. Do we look good enough? Our body images. Self esteem. Am I a good mother? What do my friends think of me? I'm annoyed with how much shit we take and the things we sacrifice for all of the things mentioned above. We take low paying jobs to spend more time with our children. We lose out on adult social activity to go to parks, picnics and kid friendly activities. We criticize ourselves for not looking like Beyonce and the Sports Illustrated cover girl. My boobs aren't big enough. My stomach isn't flat. My hair isn't long enough and I need a pedicure and a wax job. I'm feeling very feminist today. We take the blame when our better halves do us wrong. We listen to the negativity and think what we could've done differently all to please him. We fill our bodies with birth control hormones to prevent unwanted pregnancies but increase our chances of reproductive organ cancers. Mood swings, heavy cycles, headaches. And brownies. Don't forget the brownies. But we do it and sometimes even with a smile on our beautiful, imperfect faces.

I love my boys more than life itself. And if I have to miss out on a girls night because they need me to tuck them into bed, so be it. I'd do anything for them. Call it Sacrifices. Maybe I'm rambling which seems to be my favorite but I have a point that I'm trying to make. We put up, go through and survive a lot and are typically under appreciated except on the hallmark card holiday called Mother's Day when we'll get a card, maybe some flowers and a messy house for the day since its a known fact we have the day off from responsibility. One day I'll be older and wiser and appreciate the trials I've gone through because in the end, I'll know exactly the path I've taken and where it'll have led me.

I guess this is what happens when you feel misunderstood. You ramble on the internet because you know if no one else will listen, your blog will.

To be continued...